| Hi ALL |
[Mon, May 25th, 2009 at 10:49pm] |
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I just can NEVER keep up with lj I fail horribly!!! Anyone thats on facebook that wants to add me please do! I am on there a good bit and really enjoy it. Look me up Betty Jones Hodge
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| catch up |
[Tue, Dec 2nd, 2008 at 4:44pm] |
So we all sorta have gotten better, though now my sister of which I spent most of the weekend with now has walkng pnemonia...so thats something to look forward too.
We are having it rough with my nephew Chance. Today I had to go sign papers on him because he bowed up to and tried to swing at Mike. Mike said he has to go. I know this too. I know we have done all that we can do for him but it still hurts knowing that he will be sent off somewhere because theres noone else willing to take him in. So Im kinda in the dumps about that. They will call soon when they have a meeting set with the judge
Im tired, sorry for the lowsy update but now you see where and why I am the way I am these days.
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| illness |
[Tue, Nov 18th, 2008 at 5:28am] |
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I have been sick since Friday. I broke down and went to the doctor yesterday & I have bronchitis, pharyngitis and sinuitus...2 shots and 3 cripts later I am HOPING this clears up soon
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| men! |
[Wed, Nov 12th, 2008 at 6:46am] |
Mike was out of town working last week, he came home on Thursday night. From that night until Sunday he was a complete jerk to us all. I dunno I guess he was have Male PMS but still he was very rude and hateful. Sunday I finally had my say which ofcoarse pissed him off even more but that is how Mike is when he is wrong, when you point it out and he realizes how wrong he has been he gets mad at me for pointing it out and himself for being a prick. Since then he has been eating crow. He has been helping with laundry & supper everynight this week. He has been doing honeydoos w/o me asking. I guess I will absorb it all while I can LOL
Im off to work
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| My current struggles |
[Sun, Nov 9th, 2008 at 10:27pm] |
For those of you that don't know. I have had custody of a nephew (Chance) since March. Mike and I have tried all that we can do. I have prayed and tried to listen to God on this. Maybe I failed with him. Foolish pride is hard to get over. Mike and I both are the type of parents that it is...what I say goes....With Chance there is always an excuse, day in and day out all day long. We have tried to adapt to him. We have listened and watched him lie over and over. I see a boy that is very lost. He is a boy that plays dumb so he can do everything half-way. He has had a hard past, that is a given. However, we can let our past rule our future. Mike and I have both been stern and positive. I have tried to love him like I do my own but that is hard to do. He does desire that though...he loves the loving attention. It has been a battle of my pride of not letting him get away with lieing, to actually act 16 instead of 9yrs. It has been a struggle just as bad for Mike.
When he came to live with me, I thought well God placed him for a reason. I spoke with a friend from Church that is very wise and I respect her advise. She told me about 4 months ago. That when and if I realized that this wasn't the place for him, I need to respect that and to think about my family. So last week I made a few phone calls with the to the juvenile hall and his doctor. They gave me some ideas and suggestions. I felt fine about it because I feel like we are just spinning our wheels here. I feel like he isn't getting anything at all from us and he needs so much more. He will be 17 in Jan. He needs to grow up quickly and even though it has only been 9 months here with us, I see very little progress.
The guilt is hitting me now though. I think about how horrible I am for sending him off, that he has had such a hard life and look at what I am going to do to him now. I think about how hurt and neglected that he has always been & I think about what this will do to him.
I have talked to him about it. He knows I am really past my limits with him. However, I don't think he really gets it, I think he feels that if he does ok for 2 days that things will be fine.
I am just ready to have my home and family back to normal. I am ready to for my kids to not be around the lies & fit throwing that he does. STILL I think about how he has never had the love of a Mother & Father. I hate myself for not being able to give that to him. Most of you know how giving I am, I don't know why I can't open myself up for him.
Just pray for me. I need the prayers!
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| Quickie |
[Wed, Nov 5th, 2008 at 9:34pm] |
Today Olivia turned 4! YES I have YET to upload pics on my lj!!! Sorry!!
I took cupcakes some adorable balloons & doll to her school. Her eyes lit up, you could tell it made her feel special. POOR Nick, he has a Summer bday so he has never had the bday at school party. Then after work my mil took us out to eat pizza, she gave Olivia some presents. Olivia loves being the center of attn... even though she demands that DAILY. We are having her actual bday party this Saturday at my Church. I KNOW...4 and gets all this for her bday? I barely got a cake when I was a kid!!
Mike is workin in Ar this week. SUCKS..I miss him!
Work was pretty cool today. I am learning more and more.
Fixing to go to bed...so sleepy. The time change has kicked my butt this time.
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| ugh |
[Tue, Nov 4th, 2008 at 10:02pm] |
The polls are making me emotionally sick. I am sorry and don't mean to offend. I just don't "trust" Obama. Anyone that knows me could tell you that I am by no means racist, that is not it at all. There has just always been something about that man that makes me cringe.
Im going to go lay down and finish watching the landslide..ugh
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| The new job |
[Thu, Oct 30th, 2008 at 11:49am] |
So far my new job is pretty ok. I have been pretty much sitting back & observing for the most part which has been boring but I have learned a good bit too. I have never worked with so many women before, that will be a big change for me.
The management is good, so that is a big plus.
On another note I guess I am taking the kids trick or treating 2 nights in a row. My sisters town is celebrating it tonight and she wants my kiddos to go with hers tonight, so tomorrow night we will go in my town, then to my Church for a Fall Fest
fixing to go "watch" peolple work LOL
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| Phases of my life-Music |
[Sun, Oct 26th, 2008 at 2:19pm] |
You know I can relate music with phases in my life.
When I hear old country songs, I think of my childhood and growing up with my siblings loving country music. I remember looking up to my oldest brother like he was a country genus. Some songs brings me to tears thinking about how much I love my siblings and how lucky we were to be so close.
Anytime I hear bands like Motely Crue-Poison... I think of being 14 going to atleast 1 concert a month, maybe more. I would go out to bars with older friends and seemed like everyone liked me cuz the bar owners would always let me in too. I remember being crazy about Brett Michaels..ha I KNOW..say what?... I had posters to cover every wall in my room of him and various other glam rockers that I idolized. gah! This all went on til I was 17ish.
Then when I hear songs from say Grateful Dead, The Cure, Linny or Smashin Pumpkins
Hearing this music brings peace to me even for just a few moments, it brings me back to a feeling loved feeling. I think about living on my own in my apartment...Well with friends..guys mainly. I was always better friends with guys. I did have a dear soul sista named Jecca that I lost contact with that used to sing and play guitar, she had the sweetest voice I have ever heard. I don't think I have ever been my truest self around any other female than her, wish I hadn't lost contact with her. We would go to local bars, sit outside with various hippiefied instruments and play. We would travel some, YES I was working but did this on weekends. We even went to a Rainbow Gathering, that was a huge eye opening event for me. It was wild for me to see how these people lived, I could appreciate it and respect them but there is no way I would ever want to live like that.
Then when I hear songs from bands such as Primus, NIN, Tool, Pantera
I think of an Ex of mine. I think of the hours on end that we would sit and talk...ofcourse we were high on speed....which I in noway miss but I do still miss him. We had a cool connection, he needed me and I wanted him. This went on for 5yrs moving from place to place. Even following me to College in Texas. I remember partying with him and my cool college friends, we stayed high constantly. It was so carefree... I wish we could all have seen what HUGE mistakes we were making.
Then atlast when I hear Southern Rock...I think of the fun times what Mike and I had while dating...going out dancing, enjoying each other, loving each other. I think of how that brough him out of his shell.
When I hear Praise and Worship music I think of how lucky I am to have gone thru so many phases in life but now I am back to where I need to be. I am back to praising God and am Thankful for everything I have gone thru.
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| My new job |
[Thu, Oct 23rd, 2008 at 5:09pm] |
Well I accepted a job offer today. It is the one that is paying "ok" money about 5k or so less than what I was making before. I don't think that actually set in with me until I said yes to the job. Oh well, MONEY isn't my main focus right now. It is to get a job with a good stable company that I can grow in and get some good experience.
It is about 15mins from home but in a town that I can get things done easy on my lunch breaks. My old job was located off of a busy frontage rd of a main interstate and everything was kinda scattered away from each other.
Im excited and nervous at the same time!
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| Nice |
[Wed, Oct 22nd, 2008 at 12:40pm] |
The 1st morning that I have been HA unEmployed and slept it... TWAS nice...I got upto get Mike and the boys off and jumped back in bed til 10.
Today has been a lazy day for me so far and Im loving it, the weather is so nice too. I went and picked up a friend and her daughter and we went to this place for lunch that I LOVE. It's called Moma's Kitchen. Everything is fresh veggies, all Southern Cookin, several meats and veggies to pick from on and loads of cakes and pies too. Olivia loves it too. She is a good eater, will eat veggies. Nick on the other hand HATES to go there, when he is with me he will usually only eat some macncheese...ticky eater.
Fixing to get a few things done, put Olivia down for her nap then gotta take Chance to an appointment at 3:30
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| ... |
[Tue, Oct 21st, 2008 at 9:39pm] |
I am LOVIN my new hair color and style!! Wish I wasn't too lazy to take pics and post them. it is now about shoulder lenght but layered in a cool way, hard to explain but will be super easy to style. The color is a very dark brownish blackish. It is a Mocha color...love it. It will be easy to keep up thats forsure. I am thinking about going and getting my manicure and pedicure tomorrow with my gift certificate that I won. I also got some stuff for Olivia's hair that will be a great leave in conditioner. I need to post updated pics of all of us. Her hair is down to her tail now and is curly from about halfway down in ringletts. Very pretty but very hard to get the tangles out, so hard that sometimes it just gets pulled up in a pony and forgotten about, rather than listen to her cry over it hurting.
My interview went well today. I met with 3 of the managers, all of which I have worked with on a client level with my old job and 1 is actually a good friend. She must have put in lots of good things about me cuz they didn't ask for references or about my work experience that I would need for this job. When I left they were gonna all get back together and figure out which one can have me
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| In the other chair now...ugh |
[Tue, Oct 21st, 2008 at 6:34am] |
Last night I got a call from 1 of my old clients wanting me to come in to meet with her today at 1:30 for an interview. UGH! After my past job (see a few post back about that job) you would think I wouldn't be nervous about any interview. I used to interview people all day long and prep them for interviews with this same client. I guess it is because I really don't have much exp for this position and I am worried that they will NOT want me then it would be awkward for them to tell me since we had such a close client relationship.
Either way I am calling 1st thing to get an appointment to get my hair cut, colored and styled...YAY...
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| Movies sucked |
[Mon, Oct 20th, 2008 at 10:36am] |
Its been a long time since we have had time to sit and watch movies, let alone actually take the time to go rent and watch them. I picked out a couple suckie movies too! I got Prom Night cuz I wanted a scarey movie and even though it made me jump a little a couple of times, it was very far from being a good movie. Then I got Made of Honor which I was skeptical about anyway but it had Patrick Dempsey in it, so I thought it was worth a shot. ugh! Very boring, I came close to turning it off but I had hopes that it would pick up and give something but nope. Sucked too.
Any suggestions on any new good movies? I don't care for action movies at all, other than that I am pretty open to watch anything.
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| Fun Day |
[Sat, Oct 18th, 2008 at 8:47pm] |
The benefit went well today it raised over 2,400.00 I wont like 5 gift certificates too! Mike, Nick & his friend, Olivia and I went to Mazzios to eat Pizza and ate off of 1 of the certificates that I won. It was a lot of food too. I also won a mani/pedi YAY cuz I sooo need a pedi!!. Won $25. for a tire store, $75. for a store called Dragons Lare and another 1 that I can't remember what it is right now.
We went to Blockbuster after the Pizza joint and got some movies. We got Love Guru, Prom Night, Made of honnor and Cinderella for Olivia. She wanted the Wizzard of Oz but they didn't have it.
SO now I am fixing to go watch movies with the hubby
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| A benefit |
[Sat, Oct 18th, 2008 at 8:51am] |
I will be getting ready soon to go to a benefit that my sister n law is putting together for a little 4yr girl that is in stage 4cancer. It breaks my heart to think about it, exspecially with Olivia turning 4 next month. So today we are going to help out. It is a trail ride then auctions and games. The kids will have a blast and its perfect weather for it too.
I think I am fixing to get up and hit a couple of garage sales to see if I can find anything cheap that they can auction for good money.
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| Update on me (Job) |
[Fri, Oct 17th, 2008 at 8:56am] |
This is long but just a portion of what has been goingon with me, will post more later on other parts of my life
So for the last year I have been working as a staffing specialist in a staffing agency in Jackson. I LOVED IT for the most part. When I started out, I was able to help people and that was awesome. Placing single Moms or Dads to work felt great. However the better I got at my job the more they pushed me more into the high level positions. Ya know the 50-150k jobs per year that the candidates were already working, just wanted more money or a change. I got rewarding from that in the form of $$, those positions brought in big money to me but it felt like I was selling people. The job turned more into sales than what I had wanted and the average worker was not someone that my company wanted me to invest my time into. So for about a month that really worked on my heart, ya know hearing single Moms shamefully beg for my help because the were about to loose their jobs isn't something I can turn away from. Maybe cut throat people can but that is NOT me. THEN on top of all of this I had this nagging feeling of failure at home. My house never seemed to stay clean with work then 3 nights a week for Nicks football, 1 night for Church, Saturdays were full with helping my Dad, Saturday night was Mikes racing night, Sunday morn Church...so that left me with 1 night during the week and Sunday evening...ugh....Who wants to clean when you are spreaded so thin from all that I mentioned??? Then there was also the feeling of not really having time to be connected with the kids school. THEN what topped it off for me was my company did 2 LONGtime employees so wrong that I couldn't stay any longer. Last Monday I turned in my 2wks notice. They asked me to stay and what they could do to get me to stay. I told them I couldn't work for a company that could be so cruel and explained the aboved mentioned about how my job had turned into something I didn't feel right about. They said if I wasn't planning on staying that I could let that be my last day. I was fine with that, even with bonuses coming that now I won't get paid for, it still felt like that best thing that I could have done. Mike is very supportive in whatever I want to do. I do feel like I want to go back to work but I want to take time to find the right fit for me and my family. A job that is just a job, that I don't have to take home, be on call for or worry about meeting my #s. However if/when I do go back to work, Mike and I both agree that it is time to start paying someone to come in and clean/help me out, that will take a huge burden off of me and what a nice feeling to come home to a clean house!!
The very next day that I quit I had 3 clients from my past job to call me very upset that I wasn't there any longer and expresed interest in speaking with me about going to work for them. 1 was pretty ok pay, a couple or so grand less than what I was making but less stress, closer to home & will train with NO exp. The other 2 are better paying jobs starting out at what I would have made at my old job with my salary and commission, closer to home, will train, less stress!! I got my resume together and sent it to them this week, I think they will have me come in next week to talk to them. Meanwhile I have been catching up on housework and laundry!
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| YOu there? |
[Wed, Oct 15th, 2008 at 9:17pm] |
So how many of my old friends STILL have me in the friends list? I know I have not been around for a long time but I am finally back even after a couple failed attempts over the past yr.
Will update tomorrow about where I am with my life/family/job
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| Im so excited but worried too |
[Sat, May 31st, 2008 at 10:08pm] |
Each year my company has convention in some awesome place, last year it was the Bahamas this year it is Vegas. They are putting us up in the NYNY hotel, one of the best ones there! I reached my goals for this year and am even at a level to get a paid guest too but Mike didn't want both of us to be so far away from the kids. Understandable, I know. So my sister Debbie will be going with me, along with most of my coworkers. The 1st night there is a 70s theme party, you can go disco or hippie, I had more stuff of my own to go hippie, so peace out man! The next night is our formal awards banquet the next day we have all to do whatever we want then the next we come home. I leave tomorrow at noon and will be back home Wednesday evening. I am very honored and excited but that Mommy inside of me wants to freak out about the what if's of being in a plane and something happening to me and what that would do to my kids!! So pray for me!
Nick has been extra loving with me the last 2 days and has just wanted to hang out with me and talk. I think he is a little worried. Olivia wants to GO LOL she will have a hard time tomorrow when I leave but I am sure she will be fine after that. Mike however will go NUTS! Exspecially with the 16yr nephew that we have living with us. OH BTW for those of you that remember the other nephew from 2yrs ago... the 1 I have now is his younger brother. Long story, will update later.
I have just about everything packed that I can pack tonight. I will have all morning to finish up the rest.
Off to get more done!
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| Bored |
[Tue, Dec 18th, 2007 at 8:23am] |
Now that it's cold..well cool...I can sleep soooooooooo good.... Ive been able to get right up when my alarm goes off at 5am but now I just want to sleep because all of a sudden I am getting the best sleep!
I went and made a snowflake...its kinda a cute thing to do when your bored.. go
http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/
I watched the Choir show last night, it was good, I thought it would be boring but I was shocked...
I took some pretty decent pics of the kids last night...Wish I had MY camera...however my lil sister let me borrow hers. I made a Christmas card, now I have to go print them up and get them off.
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